


Undertow

by IceQueenAmaryllis



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jaegers (Pacific Rim), Kaiju (Pacific Rim), M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-01 04:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15135293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceQueenAmaryllis/pseuds/IceQueenAmaryllis
Summary: Pacific Rim AU:"an interdimensional portal, called the "Breach", opens at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, where giant monsters, the Kaijus, emerge from. To combat the Kaiju threat, humanity builds massive robotic machines called Jaegers. Each Jaeger is piloted by two or more people, who are mentally linked in a process called "Drifting", to share the mental stress of piloting the machine."(Otherwise known as I watched Pacific Rim and decided to toss the TMR cast into it, so enjoy!)





	1. Prologue

Thomas 

 

There had been a time when coastal cities had been a desirable place to live. There were constant streams of tourists from countries all over the world, eager to soak up the sun and enjoy the cold ocean water. And while people did still flock to the sandy shores from time to time, it was nowhere near what it had once been. Everyone walked around with a sense of impending doom, of not knowing what would happen from one moment to the next. Ever since the Kaiju had begun to rise from the depths of the ocean, nowhere seemed safe anymore. 

Those terrible, primal creatures left nothing but destruction in their wake. The sheer magnitude of devastation they could inflict in even a short few minutes put even the most brutal of human wars to shame. By all rights, humanity should have succumb to these creatures by now. And if not for the invention of the Jaegers, they may well have. The one thing that stood between them and extinction was the gigantic robots and the brave, talented individuals that piloted them. Jaeger pilots were the best of the best of them; the strongest, the smartest, the bravest. Where others fled, they stood as the last bastions of humankind. 

Thomas wanted nothing more than to be one of them. Standing idly by while Kaiju attacks grew more frequent and the death toll got higher and higher was not something he could handle. He needed to do something. Anything. But it wasn’t just about him and what he wanted. Chuck, his younger brother, depended on him and he couldn’t leave him in favour of fighting this awful war. 

“Do you think we’ll ever get to see one of the Jaegers in person?” Chuck asked, seemingly picking up on exactly what Thomas had just been thinking about. He glanced at the younger boy, arms laden with the groceries they’d thankfully been able to afford, only to find his gaze locked on the image of Onyx Viper emblazoned on a brick wall in spray paint. As large as the painting was, it was nothing compared to the true size of the real thing. 

“Hopefully not. That wouldn’t really be a good thing, Chuck.” Thomas replied. They’d been lucky, so far. Each time there had been an attack, they’d gotten to an underground bunker, protected from the carnage before it even really had begun. 

“I mean, that’s not exactly a guarantee? They had Eden Guardian in DC for that event thing a couple days ago.” Chuck replied, scarcely taking a full breath before he launched into a passionate rant. “Did you know Eden Guardian's pilots have the strongest neural link out of all the Jaegers? I read an article and they talked all about…” 

When Chuck got going talking about Jaegers, there wasn’t much anyone could do to stop him. The younger boy’s passion was contagious and Thomas couldn’t help but to smile fondly as he recited stats and facts of the most powerful machine in the fleet. Normally, Thomas would have been content to just let Chuck talk for as long as his heart desired, but a sudden tremor in the ground made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. A few seconds later, another tremor. That wasn’t good.

“Chuck, stop.” Thomas said, reaching a hand out to clasp over his brother’s mouth when he didn’t stop talking immediately. One more tremor and then suddenly, alarms were sounding, piercing through the air, leaving his ears ringing. What was worse than that though was the sudden crashing waves and deafening roar that left Thomas’ blood running colder than the ocean itself. 

“Shit. Shit, we gotta go.” Thomas said, grabbing Chuck’s arm as he began running in the opposite direction from where the sounds were coming from. There weren’t nearly enough underground bunkers for the whole population of the city, and they were further away from one than he would have liked. 

People were screaming and panicked, rushing in the same direction he and Chuck were. Everyone was desperate to survive, even if that meant that someone else may not. There were less than fifty Jaegers across the globe, and far too many coastal cities to have one stationed at each place. It could be hours before one got here to defend them from whatever hellish monster had crept up from the depths. 

Somehow, over the sounds of sirens and destruction, the thrum of helicopter blades caught Thomas’ attention. He looked up, quite nearly tripping over a sidewalk, his gaze falling upon the gleaming silver and green metal of Eden Guardian, hoisted up by large aircraft. Although still terrified, his chest felt a little less tight now. 

The ground shook again as the Jaeger landed, standing there in all its glory for the briefest of moments before it launched into action. While everyone else ran away, the Jaeger and the pilots inside ran towards the danger, to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. 

 

Newt

 

“Do you think Minho’s going to be any less jealous when we get back?” Alby asked, an amused smile playing on his lips. 

“I doubt it. Once he does one of these events he’ll realize how boring it really is. Until then? He won’t be letting this one go any time soon.” Newt replied. Public events like these were important to maintain a positive moral. The public had to believe in the Defense Corps, that they were capable of protecting them all from the Kaiju. Sometimes, that meant allowing themselves to be idolized as heros. Admittedly, that was Newt’s least favourite part of his job but it was infrequent enough that he didn’t mind. 

“Maybe we’ll have to pull some strings next time to get Valiant Fury out there instead of us.” Alby suggested.

“Oh, is that so? How are you planning on pulling that off?” Newt asked, earning nothing but a playful grin in return. Whatever he had up his sleeve, he was more than eager to see how it all played out. 

The journey back from Washington was a long one. Although it would have been more comfortable in the cockpit of one of the aircraft hauling the Jaeger, both he and Alby had agreed they felt safer in the Conn-Pod of Eden Guardian, just in case something happened. Some might call it paranoia, but everyone in their escort knew better than to question them. Their intuition and quick thinking had saved countless lives before and doubting them wouldn’t bode well for anyone. 

Besides, regardless of how long the journey was, there was no one else Newt would rather spend it with. Along with being his co-pilot, Alby was also his best friend. They knew each other inside and out. Years of training together, of learning how to pilot a Jaeger together, had afforded them a deeper connection than most other people would ever know. The neural link established when they drifted together was unlike anything else. There were hardly words to describe it. The divide between the two of them became so thin that it was difficult to tell where his thoughts ended and Alby’s began. It was their high level of compatibility that made them such a formidable team. 

A familiar, female voice came on over the comms, pulling the duo from their conversation. It had been a nice break, while it had lasted, at least. 

“Eden Guardian, this is LOCCENT Mission Control, do you copy?” 

“Loud and clear, Teresa. What do you have for us?” Alby replied. Newt pushed himself to his feet, making his way to where his drivesuit was stored. If Teresa was contacting them, it wasn’t just to chat. The sooner they were ready, the better. Alby seemed to understand this as well as his actions mirrored the blonde’s seamlessly. 

“We’ve got a Category 4 coming up on San Francisco. Valiant Fury and Striker Phoenix are on route, but you’re closer.” 

“Can’t ever call us just to ask how we’re doing, can you?” Newt asked, pulling on his suit. “Yeah, we can hold it off until backup arrives.” 

“I’ll send through all the data we have on it so far. Get ready for launch, and be careful, alright?” 

“Will do.” Alby said, setting himself into motion, ready to take on whatever it was that was terrorizing the city. 

Once they were standing in the cradle, the pair ran through the initiation protocols with practiced ease. Fingers moved over the holographic screen before them, booting up each system in sequence, ensuring the Jaeger was ready for combat. The last step was one that constantly took Newt’s breath away. There was nothing that could compare to the feeling of establishing the bridge between his and Alby’s mind. The thing that allowed them to move as one unit, to control the gigantic mass of metal in a way that could kill the creatures that threatened the entire world. 

“Initiating Neural Handshake.” Newt commented, selecting the codes that allowed the process to begin. The feeling of thoughts and memories washing over him like a wave was surreal. It was what he imagined drowning felt like, almost. But pleasant at the same time. It was as if his world had expanded tenfold, Alby’s awareness joining his. No matter how many times they did this, he’d never get used to it. 

Teresa’s voice had shifted from the overhead comms to the ones inside their earpieces, acting as a support system for which they had both come to rely on. “Neural link established. 100% and holding. Good work as always, guys.” She commented, no small amount of pride slipping into her voice. 

As they came upon the city, Newt’s breath caught in his throat. The Kaiju had already begun to wreak havoc upon the city, buildings in various stages of destruction. It was a good thing they had been as close as they were. If they could hold back the beast for even a while, they’d be able to save at least some people. Once they landed on the ground, Newt and Alby sprung into action. They ran as fast as their legs could manage, footfalls in perfect sync. They each raised their left hands, engaging the plasma blade installed on the Jaeger’s arm, poised to strike the instant they reached the beast. 

A Category 4 Kaiju was a difficult foe, especially for just one Jaeger. They were large and more calculated in their actions than the lesser categories, nevermind the fact that they were simply stronger and more capable of fighting. For as many good hits as they got in, it seemed like the Kaiju got two more. The fight wore on for what felt like forever, the Jaeger and the Kaiju trading blows with the latter slowly gaining more and more ground. 

“Teresa, we need back up! Where is everyone? We can’t keep this up.” Alby said, trying to keep his voice firm and steady despite the overwhelming panic. He’d hardly gotten the words out of his mouth before the Kaiju rushed them and knocked them over, sending them toppling into a tall building. 

“They’re coming, just...keep fighting.” Teresa’s voice called out. In the background, the sounds of her feverishly typing on a keyboard was the only thing he could hear from the other side of the comm before she spoke again. “I think I found the heart. Right side, just behind the front leg. If you can get under exoskeleton somehow, you got it.” 

“You think? Great, that’s bloody reassuring.” Newt replied as he pushed himself up from the ground. 

Mere moments after getting back on their feet, the Kaiju rushed them again, seemingly attempting to replicate it’s last attack. This time, they braced their hands against the creature, pushing back against it. The Jaeger’s feet slid across the ground, tearing up pavement and buildings alike. Finally, the momentum stopped as they finally got a foothold on the ground. Before they got the chance to attack, a falling building caught their attention. Had there been no one there, neither of them would have thought anything of it. But there, beneath the growing shadow of the falling debris, were two people, boys close to their age. Without hesitation, both Alby and Newt reached out to catch the building, effectively protecting the people below from certain death. 

They’d just managed to toss the debris at the Kaiju when suddenly, it was upon them. The sound of shattering glass echoed through the Conn-Pod and then, pain. Pain unlike anything Newt had ever felt. In a brief few seconds, a hundred thousand memories, thoughts and feelings flooded his mind, unlike the controlled way they formed the bridge between them, this was erratic, desperate. And then, as quickly as it had begun, it ended. Like a light switch being turned off. The neural link between him and Alby severed immediately, leaving both his body and mind absolutely aching in agony. The sudden absence of the beautiful mind he'd known as well as his own left a deafening silence in his head. He felt empty. He dared to look over, seeing the slender, bone-like tip of the Kaiju’s tail impaled right through Alby’s chest, deep red blood dripping onto the floor. The scream that wrenched itself free from Newt’s throat seemed to make his bones vibrate with the intensity. 

Without Alby, he lost control of the Jaeger and the beast before them pushed them back into the ground. The Kaiju howled in triumph, mauling the Jaeger until it was certain it would not move again. One particularly hard blow was enough of an impact to break bones; the sickening snap of his leg felt secondary to the pain of losing the boy beside him. From where he was, Newt could see a sizable gash on the Kaiju’s torso, fractured bits of exoskeleton leaving a gaping wound right where Teresa had indicated the heart would be. He looked over at Alby’s body, vision blurred with tears and he knew what he had to do. 

There was a reason why Jaeger’s required at least two pilots. The exertion of it was too much for one person. Attempting to pilot a Jaeger without a drift partner was dangerous, putting the pilot at risk for having their mind torn apart from trying to control such a vast, complex system. But what else did he have to lose? With immense effort, Newt managed to reawaken Eden Guardian, lifting his own shaking hand to ignite the sword again. He was vaguely aware of Teresa’s voice pleading with him to stop and the sound of metallic footsteps in the distance over the screeching over the creature above him. He plunged the sword into the oozing wound on the Kaiju’s torso and it shrieked in pain, thrashing about before it ultimately collapsed. Newt’s vision swam and his head fell to the side, the shape of the two boys they’d saved standing on the street was the last thing he saw before darkness claimed him.


	2. The Fall of Eden

Thomas

 

In the days following the attack on San Francisco, every news outlet in the country seemed to have their own take on what had happened to Eden Guardian. Countless TV stations were replaying footage of the battle, self proclaimed Jaeger and Kaiju experts offering their less than qualified opinions of what had happened. No one could seem to agree upon why the pilots had put such a high priority on catching the falling building. However, everyone seemed to be unanimous in the fact that had they not been distracted by that, the Kaiju wouldn’t have gotten them. None of the footage picked up the two civilians that had been saved by the Jaeger. No one knew that if it wasn’t for Thomas and Chuck, Eden Guardian wouldn’t have succumbed the way it did. 

The Pan Pacific Defense Corps had remained silent on the matter, leaving everyone in the dark as to what had happened. All anyone knew was that Eden Guardian had killed the Kaiju and didn’t move again. 

Not knowing what had happened to the pilots of the Jaeger was wearing on Thomas more and more with each passing day. He couldn’t help but to feel like it was his fault. It had been his choice to take a shortcut, to go off the beaten path in an attempt to get to safety. If he hadn’t done that, they wouldn’t have needed to be protected. 

Thomas and Chuck walked down the ruined street, attempting to carry on with their lives somehow despite all that had just happened. It was all any of them could really do. A crowd was gathering around the window of a storefront, silent as they watched the large TV screen inside. 

“C’mon, let’s go check it out! Whatever it is, it’s gotta be important.” Chuck said, all but tugging Thomas to the crowd and navigating their way to the front. 

There on the screen was a woman, pale skin and blonde hair pulled into a tight bun. Ava Paige, the Director of the PPDC. This was it, he thought. This was where they finally found out what had happened to Eden Guardian. He wasn’t sure if this was actually a good thing or not. 

“It is with a heavy heart that we announce the passing of Ranger Albert Hayes. He fought valiantly in the attack on San Francisco and his actions saved countless lives. He will be sorely missed by all of us here at the Pan Pacific Defense Corps and our thoughts are with his friends and family during this difficult time.” Ava said. She appeared to be quite focused on appearing sympathetic, but not too much so. 

Thomas took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself somehow. Chuck reached a hand out and placed it on his brother’s shoulder in an attempt to reassure him. It should have him reassuring Chuck instead, but he was thankful for him nevertheless. 

“His co-pilot, Ranger Samuel Newton, remains in critical condition but his prognosis appears to be promising. As his condition changes, we will provide updates accordingly. Eden Guardian has sustained significant damage and will be removed from active duty until it has been repaired and a new drift-compatible partner for Ranger Newton is found.” With that, Ava Paige left the podium to the sound of dozens of reporters shouting questions at her, all of which she ignored. 

Thomas stood there, shocked into silence, unable to move or verbalize his thoughts. Someone had died protecting him and Chuck. One of those brave, strong people that the world idolized so much was gone and he couldn’t help but to feel like it was his fault. He couldn’t let anything like this happen ever again. There was no place safer in the world than one of the Shatterdomes and maybe, just maybe, if he could get the PPDC to allow Chuck to stay there with them, even though he was far too young to join. He’d been sitting on the side lines for too long now, and he had to do something. 

The crowd had begun to disperse, leaving the two brothers standing there. A few people offered them sympathetic glances, assuming their reactions meant that they had known one of the two pilots. It felt wrong to have people thinking that but it was better than them knowing the truth. 

“You gonna enlist, aren’t you?” Chuck said, his gaze trained intently on the screen where the news station had put up a picture of the fallen Jaeger pilot. 

“Chuck, I…” Thomas began, earning a look from his brother that quite clearly meant to not even try lying to him. “Yeah. But I’m not leaving you, got it? If I get in, they’re letting you come with me. Simple as that. We stick together.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Chuck replied, seemingly appeased by that answer. “Can we just go home now though?” 

“Sounds like a good idea. C’mon, let’s go.” Thomas said, ruffling Chuck’s curly hair fondly, much to the younger boy’s dismay. As bleak as things seemed right now, at least he had his brother.

Once they arrived back at the run down house they called a home, Chuck found himself a spot on the dingy couch, burying himself in the pages of his favourite book. It didn’t seem to matter how many times he read it, it remained his favourite. Thomas was fairly certain it was less the contents of the book he liked and more the words written in blue pen on the inside cover. ‘Property of Alice Murphy’ was written in swirling cursive, ink smudged in a few places where a hand had brushed against it as it dried. More than once, he’d found Chuck simply tracing his finger over the familiar lines of the letters. It was one of the few momentos left of their mother, and it was one both boys cherished deeply. 

While Chuck flipped through the pages, eyes following each line of text carefully, Thomas made his way over to his bed. Tucked carefully between the mattress and the box spring was the PPDC brochure and application form that had been thrust upon him by a recruiter months ago. There hadn’t been a reason to keep it at the time, it had seemed an impossibility. But now? Now he knew that he had to take the chance. Even if they didn’t accept him into the program, at least he would have tried. 

The life of an orphan in a coastal city wasn’t one that he would wish upon anyone. They struggled for food but at least they had a place to call home, as rundown as it was. If there was even a small chance that this could give him the opportunity to make a difference and provide his brother with a better life, he had to take it. Thomas found a pen in the small table beside the bed and began to fill out the form. 

 

Sonya

 

Sonya sat on a chair, perched on the edge of the seat, beside her brother’s bedside. The sheer number of wires and tubes that were hooked up to him was alarming. He had just finally begun breathing on his own but he was still unconscious, deathly pale, battered and bruised. At least he was alive. That was a miracle in and of itself but it hadn’t stopped her from sobbing her eyes out when she’d first seen him. 

She and Harriet had just landed Striker Phoenix in San Francisco along with Valiant Fury when the Kaiju impaled the Conn-Pod of Eden Guardian. The Jaeger's arms dropped immediately and Sonya could have sworn her heart stopped in her chest. All they could do was run towards the Kaiju, watching on in horror as the beast mauled the unresponsive Jaeger beneath it. When the arm moved suddenly, hope filled her entire being for a second before she recognized the movement as too shaky, too uncontrolled. Once the Kaiju had been killed, the Jaeger stopped moving again. No one could communicate with either pilot inside through the comms which left Sonya more panicked as the minutes wore on. 

Valiant Fury arrived before they did, and Minho and Gally had already exited their Jaeger, desperately trying to pull the other two pilots out of the wreckage. When they pulled Newt out, Sonya screamed. He was mangled and bloody and his leg was bent in a way that quite nearly made her sick to her stomach. She sobbed and knelt beside him, delicately stroking his hair, desperate to assure him that everything would be okay, even if he couldn't hear her. 

Now, she was too tired to cry anymore; her eyes were sore and red, body weak from keeping constant vigil over her brother. 

She reached out and tenderly smoothed a few strands of hair from his face, cautious of the bruising along his cheekbone. He wouldn’t feel it, of course, seeing as how he was unconscious, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to be gentle with him. No one knew what to expect when he woke up. His physical injuries were bad enough, but the mental damage of losing Alby when their minds had been bridged and then piloting the Jaeger on his own? It was unprecedented. 

“Hey,” A soft voice called out from the doorway. Sonya lifted her head, a weak smile forming on her lips when she saw Harriet standing there with a tray of food in her hands. Steam was billowing off the top of the mug and the spicy scent of chai wafted into the otherwise sterile smelling room. “You haven’t eaten all day. I know you don’t feel like it, but you need to keep your strength up.” 

Sonya nodded in agreement, gesturing for Harriet to come closer. The other girl sat herself in the chair beside her, setting the tray down on the nearby table. Her arm came to wrap around Sonya’s shoulders, letting her fingers brush against the bare skin of her arm soothingly.

“How’s he doing?” Harriet asked, her gaze shifting to Sonya as the blonde picked up the mug and took a few slow sips of tea. 

“He’s breathing on his own, so that’s an improvement. They said his leg should be more or less fine too. Everything else though? I...I don’t know.” Sonya replied, curling her hands around the warm ceramic of the mug in her hands. 

For a long few minutes, neither girl said anything at all. Sonya sipped at her tea and thankfully nibbled on some of the food that had been brought to her. As distraught as she was, her body clearly needed sustenance. San Francisco had shaken the entire team, from the other Jaeger pilots to mission control and mechanics, no one had escaped the shock wave left by Alby’s death and Newt’s grievous injuries. Everyone knew that this was a dangerous job, but Eden Guardian was the best of the best. Newt and Alby accomplished things with more success than anyone else did. And now they were all faced with the reality that not even they were invincible. 

“Listen, Sonya...I know this is going to be hard, but you need to know. I figured it was better that you hear it from me than anyone else.” Harriet said. Sonya shifted her gaze over to her girlfriend, watching her features carefully, for any sign that something was wrong. Evidently, there was. “Director Paige just announced that as soon as Newt is cleared by medical, they’re going to start looking for a new partner for him.” 

Sonya quite nearly dropped the mug in her hands, horrified by what she’d just heard. No one knew what losing Alby like that would do to Newt, especially with how close they had been. Throwing someone else at him immediately didn’t seem fair. Didn’t he deserve a chance to at least grieve? It would be hard enough for him to have to step back into the Conn-Pod where his best friend had been killed, let alone trying to drift with someone else. 

“Can’t they find another team to pilot Eden Guardian for now? He needs time to heal. Not just his body but...everything else too.” Sonya said firmly, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes again. Harriet took the mug from her hands and set it down on the small table, pulling Sonya into an embrace shortly after that was dealt with. “I can’t imagine what losing Alby felt like for him. If that happened to you...I think that would kill me. How can they expect him to carry on like nothing happened?” She said, voice cracking with emotion. 

“I don’t know. Maybe it’ll help him cope. Maybe not. But we’ll be there for him, whatever he needs, okay?” Harriet smoothed her fingers through Sonya’s long, blonde hair, rocking her gently in an attempt to soothe her. 

Sonya let herself he consoled, hiding her face against Harriet’s shoulder. Tears spilled from her eyes once again, trailing down her cheeks and onto the fabric of the other girl’s shirt. Once her breathing had settled some, she pulled away enough to wipe away the tears that lingered. She had to be strong now, for Newt. When he woke up, he was going to need her now more than ever. As bleak as things seemed right now, at least she still had her brother.


	3. Recruit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the support! I've never really written any fic up until now, so I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Thomas

 

After Thomas had submitted his application, he found himself waiting on bated breath for some kind of response. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and it seemed like nothing was ever going to come of it. Logically, he knew that they likely had hundreds upon hundreds of applications to sort through and the delay could be attributed to that. Combine that with the fact that everything in the city was running a little slower than usual after the Kaiju attack, it was no wonder he hadn’t heard back. Knowing that didn’t stop him from bolting out the front door and rifling through the stack of flyers and junk mail tossed unceremoniously on their doorstep each morning. Each time, he became a little more discouraged than the last. 

The small computer repair shop he worked at had been extremely busy as of lately, which was both a blessing and a curse. It meant more money to support him and Chuck but it also meant a lot of long hours. It seemed like after everyone had dealt with the lost of life, their next order of business was having their phones and computers fixed. Thomas had come home from one particularly late shift and all but passed out in bed immediately. 

When he woke, it was to Chuck pouncing onto his bed, grabbing one of the pillows to whack him with.

“Wake up! Come on, seriously! I’m gonna open it without you if you don’t get up!” Chuck exclaimed, his pillow hitting Thomas right across the face as he finally sat up. 

“Okay, okay! I’m up, stop it.” Thomas replied. He grabbed the pillow from his brother’s hands, tossing it to the side of the bed. “What are you gonna open?” He rubbed at his eyes tiredly, vision finally focusing on the now crumpled envelope in Chuck’s hand. “Holy shit…” He breathed out. 

Chuck thrust the envelope into Thomas’ hand, seating himself comfortably on the bed as he watched the other boy with rapt enthusiasm. Emblazoned on the once pristine envelope was the PPDC crest, proudly announcing that the letter he’d been waiting for was concealed inside. This could change their whole lives. They could have the chance at having a stable, happy lifestyle where Thomas didn’t have to work himself to the bone just to keep them afloat. They could have the chance to make a difference. 

He tore open the envelope as quickly as he could, paying no mind to the fact that he could have easily torn the paper inside in his excitement. Once the envelope was tossed aside, he unfolded the paper with shaking hands, his breath catching in his throat. 

“Well? What does it say? Come on, don’t keep me waiting, that’s so not fair.” Chuck insisted. He prodded Thomas’ knee with his index finger, trying to urge his brother into reading the contents of the letter out loud. 

Thomas cleared his throat, buying himself some time, before he started reading. “Dear Mr. Murphy, we have reviewed your application and we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the secondary phase of the recruitment process. Please contact your local Pan Pacific Defense Corps representative to schedule your first in person appointment.” 

For a moment, the two brothers sat in complete silence, taking in what all this truly meant. They eventually look up at each other with wide smiles as they succumb to the absolute joy. For the first time in a long time, things seemed to be working out in their favour. 

It turned out that the simple one page application form was the only simple part of the enlisting with the PPDC. His first appointment consisted of a comprehensive interview in which he was asked questions that felt almost too invasive. The interview wore on for well over an hour but by the end of it he was given a card with a time and date written on it for his physical exam. His answers had been satisfactory, it seemed, regardless of how overwhelmed he had been by it all. 

The physical exam was two-fold: a battery of tests to determine his health and an aptitude test of sorts to determine strength and stamina. The nurses had performed each test with practiced ease and they scarcely said a word to him short of instructing him on what they required him to do. From blood work and EKG’s to everything else in between, the PPDC officially had more medical information on him than Thomas had ever had access to in his whole life. Thankfully, years of running first thing in the morning had served him well, making the physical exam the easiest part of the recruitment process. 

At the end, he received another card. Another test. 

The psychological evaluation was somehow far more draining than the physical one had been. The tragic loss of his mother and the responsibility of caring for his younger brother had taken more of a toll on him than he’d ever thought possible. All the years he’d spent lazer focused on being strong enough to support Chuck had made him repress his own feelings. The psychologist seemed to know how to pick apart the tiny strings that held his mind together until everything came bubbling up to the surface. 

As the session came to a close, Thomas was convinced that he had just blown his chance at joining the PPDC. The months of waiting, the interview and the physical tests, it had all just been a massive waste of time. It couldn’t be over this easily, could it? He’d do whatever it took to keep this dream alive, for Chuck if for nothing else. 

Once the psychologist closed her notebook. Thomas opened his mouth to speak, to beg, for another chance. He was met with a gentle smile from the woman sitting across from him, her hand outstretched as she pushed a card towards him. She didn’t say a word, just slid the card closer with a reassuring nod. Thomas didn’t really know how what he’d just endured had gotten him through to the next phase, but he wasn’t about to question it. 

All those months of waiting, all those tests and copious amounts of anxiety had led up to this moment. Thomas sat on an uncomfortable plastic chair, tapping his foot on the pristine laminate flooring. His eyes were trained on the clock watching as the seconds ticked by. The chair across from him remained as empty as the glass on the table. 

Eventually, the door behind him opened and the sound of high heels clicking against the floor joined the ticking of the clock. The woman rounded the table and took a seat opposite of him. Suddenly, his throat was dry and Thomas found himself wishing that he hadn’t drank all of the water that had once been in the glass. She set a file folder down on the table and opened it, scanning over the notes inside before she spoke. 

“Hello, Thomas. My name’s Mary. Sorry to keep you waiting, I don’t normally handle these recruitment things.” The woman said, offering a kind smile. Thomas liked her already, he decided. She seemed like someone with good intentions, someone he could trust. Usually, his intuition led him in the right direction and he wasn’t about to start doubting it now. 

“It’s okay, I wasn’t waiting too long.” Thomas replied. Seventeen minutes, that’s how long he’d been waiting. Not that he was counting. 

“You’ve been through a lot of testing. How has that been for you?” She asked. 

“Not bad. I didn’t think it’d be that invasive, but it makes sense.” He replied, shrugging lightly. It had been stressful, but if this ended well, it was worth it. 

“The Pan Pacific Defense Corps isn’t for everyone. We just want to make sure people know what they’re getting themselves into and that they can handle it.” Mary explained. “Though you’re right. Some of it is a little bit too much, in my opinion.” 

There was a brief lull in the conversation as Mary pulled out a few pieces of paper from the back of the folder and retrieved a pen from her pocket. Thomas watched closely, trying to discern what the paper was exactly despite it being upside down. He hoped that it wasn’t just another test. Hadn’t he done enough of those by now? All the testing had to be done at some point, right? 

“We’d like to offer you a position at the Los Angeles Shatterdome. This contract has all the details of the position and a non-disclosure agreement. I can give you a moment to look those over if you want before you sign.” Mary pushed the papers and the pen across the table towards him. 

With his heart pounding in his chest, Thomas looked over the document, tapping the end of the pen nervously against the table top as he read. It wasn’t exactly the position he’d been hoping for, but with his experience repairing computers, phones and other various devices, it made sense for him to be put in an technological maintenance field. The complex systems that ran the Jaegers and Shatterdome were essential to the ongoing war against the Kaiju. 

Staring at the line that kindly asked him to ‘sign here’, Thomas looked up at Mary, twirling the pen in his fingers. “I want to sign this, I do. I just...I’m not going anywhere without my brother.” 

Mary looked at him with an amused smile. “I knew you’d say that. I pulled some strings and he’ll be able to come with you. We have a few younger kids around the Shatterdome, families of some of the staff there.” If Thomas had thought he liked her before, he liked her even more so now. It seemed too good to be true, almost. 

Without a moment of hesitation, Thomas signed on the line, sliding the paper back to Mary along with the pen. 

“Welcome to the Pan Pacific Defense Corps, Thomas.”


	4. Into Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have changed for this chapter! In case you haven't checked that, please do so.

Newt

 

Awareness returned slowly in the form of a muffled voice and distant beeping, the feeling of delicate fingers brushing over his forehead. The temptation to slink back into the darkness that ebbed at the corners of his mind was almost too much to resist. Unconsciousness offered solace from the pain that had begun to bloom at several points on his body. It would be so much easier to just slip into oblivion. Why did he hurt so badly? The sound of his sisters’ voice was all the motivation Newt needed to push passed the temptation, slowly blinking his eyes open. 

His lashes stuck together some but he managed to force them open enough to catch glare of the bright fluorescent light fixture above him. Through the thinning haze of his blurry mind, the pain caught up to him slowly and then all at once. A pained groan escaped his lips and he pressed his face into the sterile smelling pillow, as if he could hide from the agony that had seeped into his bones. He was vaguely aware of some motion occuring beside him, unwilling to open his eyes again for the moment.

“It’s okay, just relax, alright? Give it a couple of seconds, you’re okay.” Sonya said, her voice wavering slightly. Her hand found its way to rest against his head, stroking his hair gently in the way that he often did to soothe her. Minutes ticked by, stretching on into infinity until the pain eased away, replaced by a pleasant numbness. “Better?” She asked softly. 

Newt opened his eyes once more, meeting Sonya’s gaze. She looked terrible. Exhausted and terrified. What made matters worse was the fact that there wasn’t a shred of doubt in his mind that the expression on her face was a direct response to whatever she saw when she looked at him. Her eyes were bloodshot and red, her usually perfectly braided hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, her lithe frame was hidden amongst the fabric of one of his sweaters. He hadn’t seen her this distraught since the days after their parents had died. 

“Better.” He managed to choke out, his throat tight and dry for disuse. How long had he been unconscious for? Long enough that his body scarcely seemed to know how to function properly anymore. 

He moved one hand with the intention of taking Sonya’s in his, only to find his movement restricted by a tugging sensation. Upon closer inspection, Newt found an IV was inserted into a vein, along with a plethora of other tubes and wires. He shifted his gaze to the rest of his body, finding that his leg was elevated by a sling and contained in a sizable cast. 

Suddenly, his mind snapped the memories into place with what felt like the same violent force that had been necessary to snap the bones in his leg. San Francisco. The battle they’d fought against the monstrous Kaiju. Alby’s bloody body beside him in the Conn-Pod, the deafening silence that his death had left behind in its wake. All the pain in the world couldn’t have held a candle to the all consuming emptiness that crept into every nook and cranny of his soul until there was nothing else left. Nothing but the crushing weight of loss that threatened to bury him alive until he wished for death. 

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” Newt said. The emotionlessness in his voice was a stark contrast to the heart wrenching emptiness he felt inside. It was as if his body was physically incapable of expressing just how absolutely ruined he truly felt. Whether it was the painkillers that Sonya had administered to him or the numbness that came from the realization he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t feel the tears that rolled down his cheeks. It was only once they dropped onto the crisp fabric of his hospital gown that he noticed he was crying. 

Sonya didn’t say a word. Instead, she sat herself on the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around him in a cautious embrace as he cried. Even without the words being said, the answer was clear. 

Alby was dead.

Weeks passed and Newt’s life had become a steady stream of nurses asking him the same questions over and over again.

“How are you feeling?” 

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain?”

“Do you need anything?”

His answers were always the same.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“Probably a five, it’s not terrible.” 

“No thank you, I don’t need anything.” 

Every time he answered those questions, his mind was screaming the truth so loudly it was almost a surprise no one else could hear it. 

“I feel terrible.”

“Eleven. I feel like I’m dying.” 

“I need this to be over.” 

The only thing that was worse than the incessant, useless questions were the times that he was left alone. His friends came to visit when they could, but being down one Jaeger meant that they were all overwhelmed with handling the workload. Hours upon hours, Newt was left alone with nothing but his thoughts. Nothing but the gaping hole where his best friend used to be. Bearing witness to the final thoughts that passed through someone’s mind before they died was far more traumatic than one could begin to fathom. The unrealized hopes and dreams, the fond memories and feelings that had been momentary comfort before it all ended for good. 

It was in one of these seemingly endless hours that Newt took advantage of the potent painkillers within arms reach and took matters into his own hands. Just as the blissful darkness had begun to welcome him into its embrace, the door to his room opened and panic ensued. 

In his delirious haze, he was vaguely aware of a woman’s voice calling out to him, instructing him to not give up, that he had so much more to live for yet. He didn’t believe her. His body was flushed of the overdose of medications and he was pulled from death’s door. When he came to, Newt was met with Minho’s haunted gaze as he sat in the chair beside his bed. 

“Please, don’t tell anyone else.” Newt pleaded. 

“I won’t. But Newt, you can’t… you can’t do that again.” Minho said, swallowing thickly in an attempt to keep the emotion under control in favour of saying what needed to be said. “None of us know what you’re going through but you’re not alone, okay? We’re here for you.” 

It was a tentative agreement, but one he could agree to for now. There wasn’t much of a choice in the matter. He was never left alone for long again and he was made aware of the fact that there would be 24 hour surveillance on his room. 

Months passed and Newt found himself somehow feeling a little better as the days wore on. His body healed and his mind along with it, albeit a little slower. What spurred him on more than anything was the positive impact his recovery had on everyone else. Sonya smiled a little more and it felt less and less like people were just holding their breaths, waiting for something to go wrong. That motivation kept him fighting even when he wanted so badly to give up. His leg had been broken quite badly and the physical nature of piloting a Jaeger meant that he had to regain as much range of motion with it again as possible. The team needed him to be the strong leader now that Alby was gone. It was what Alby would want; for someone to take care of everyone. 

Physical therapy quickly became the highlight of Newt’s day. Each day, there was a little bit more progress. He was one step closer to feeling something close to normal again. It would never be the same, but there were people who needed him to be the strong one again. While he was a little more than anxious about the prospect of getting back into Eden Guardian again one day soon, there wasn’t much of a choice. Ava Paige herself had graced him with a video call wherein she had congratulated him on his heroism and expressed her condolences for his loss. The conversation concluded with her telling him that she would be glad to see him return to the field. Although she didn’t say it, it was heavily implied that the sooner, the better. 

That also meant he’d have a new co-pilot soon. Drifting with someone else after what had happened to Alby scared him more than anything else did. 

Newt sat himself down on the bench, allowing himself a moment to catch his breath as he lifted his gaze to look at Mary. She was a kind woman, among the most skilled doctors in the country. It hadn’t been difficult to discern that she was the one who had saved his life when he’d tried to end it. And now she’d been given the task of getting him back on his feet. During that time, Mary had become something of a mentor to him, offering him support for his physical and mental recovery. 

“They’re trying to find a new partner for me, aren’t they?” Newt asked. 

Mary offered him a sympathetic look before she returned to putting away the equipment they’d used today. “They are. No luck so far though.” 

Newt let out an exasperated sigh, leaning back on his hands, the muscles in his forearms stretching pleasantly as he did so. “Of course not. They can’t just expect to pick someone at random and hope we’re compatible. For so called experts, they really don’t know what they’re doing.” He scoffed. 

For a moment, he paused and glanced down at the floor, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. Until now, he had vehemently avoided thinking about having a new partner. Did he even want one? Not really. The possibility of enduring losing someone else like that was horrifying but it wasn’t half as bad as the possibility of putting another person through the same thing if he was the one that died instead. “Alby and I, we just...we understood each other, you know? Even when we weren’t drifting together it seemed like we always knew what the other was thinking. It’s like that with everyone; Gally and Minho, Harriet and Sonya, Fry and Brenda.” He explained, tapping his fingers against the bench. “I don’t know if I can let myself get that close to someone again.” 

The sounds of Mary putting away equipment ceased, replaced by her footfalls approaching him where he sat on the bench. She knelt before him, her kind brown eyes meeting his, giving him no room to run from her gaze. “Don’t count yourself out yet. Losing someone is awful, you and I both know that. It never really goes away, but it gets easier. It’s okay to not be okay right now, but you will be one day.” She explained. She stood up again, clasping a hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “Gally will be helping you out for the next few days while I’m away, you’re ready for some light combat exercises anyways.” 

“I didn’t realize you were going anywhere. Is everything alright?” Newt asked, pushing himself up from the bench. His leg didn’t buckle when he stood like it once had, further proof he was recovering steadily. 

“Everything’s fine. We’re just a bit short staffed right now so I’m meeting with a few new prospective recruits. I’ll be back in a few days.” Mary explained. There was a flicker of something in her eyes, almost mischievous, but it passed too quickly for Newt to discern much more. If she was up to something, there was no doubt in his mind that it was for the betterment of all of them, even if he had no idea what it might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again to everyone for the feedback and kind words! I truly appreciate it and I'm so glad you're enjoying this!

**Author's Note:**

> Jaegers: 
> 
>  
> 
> Onyx Viper 
> 
> Striker Phoenix 
> 
> Valiant Fury 
> 
> Eden Guardian


End file.
